It is really obvious to me that you have a very strong poweful and deep love for red-pepper,
from reading what you wrote i understand that you are happy to be in a polyfi situation between yourself, redpepper and her husband, but that it hurts you to think of her with another man outside, and at the moment you have a polyfi set up,
however you are saying that if she does want to bring in a new love that is a man into her life that you would re-shape your love for her, and continue to nuture the friendship without the intimacy,
what i wonder is how easy will this be, to step back from being so intimate, to give up that wonderful thing you have with her, becuase i know that sex is not everything but sex is diffrent from making love, and that connection is extreemly special,
i worry that it would hurt you more to step back and give up the intamicy, and see another man gain that with her?
i hope that these questions are not too personnal