I have thought about this at length before. I came to the conclusion, that I don't care either... It isn't the relationship "style" that is important to me... just the items in my previously posted relationship death list. That stuff applies to both styles of relationships. This is from a journal of mine:
"I have done alot of reading on this subject and have come to another epiphany. Polyamory is like any other relationship model. I say this because it involves all the good and the bad of any other relationship. Ideally, a good relationship, be it monogamous or polyamorous should involve honesty, care, compassion, communication, respect, appreciation for who each other is as individuals, freedom to be themselves, and growth.
The only difference is the number of people and relationships involved. All relationships are hard, all require work... I do NOT subscribe to the belief that one style is harder than another, or that one style is more "evolved" than another. Because truthfully, I don't think everyone is wired to be monogamous and to maintain a happy, healthy monogamous relationship for life is just as spiritual as maintaining a happy polyamorous one.
In monogamy it may be harder to find ways to "keep the spark alive" so you have to be creative. It may be harder to remember that you are individuals and not become codependent. It may be harder to stay emotionally and sexually faithful - but you do it, because when done right, it can be incredibly fulfilling!
In polyamory, it may be harder to make quality time for your lovers and make sure they feel special in your relationship. It may be harder to confront jealousy and feelings of ownership when faced with them head on. It may be harder to develop and maintain a deep, meaningful connection when your life is full with "distraction" or other possibilities."
Just a thought...