Move up and move on
So I decided on a few things.
I'm moving on, I still love F very much but I know that there will not be anything there anymore. I'm ok with it. Maybe no one expected me to be, but I am. I've noticed things, looking from the outside in, and it makes me kinda sad, but it also makes me realize the truth about things too.
I learned so people involved read my blog... so HI! I'm no more raw here than I am in real life, so honestly, this should be nothing new.
R and I started talking about having a relationship again, I think that is going nowhere. As much as i'd like it to. He has a lot on his plate right now though, so I think we will likely just stay friends, maybe FWB for a little while, until it becomes to much for one of us. I love him so much, and its amazing how much that love grows and develops over time. The thing is I know he feels the same way, we talked about it last night. We don't really do heart to heart conversations, so when we have one its something to be noted.
Since I feel that nothing will happen with R, it's time to move on and look elsewhere. I'm doing a good job at that so far, talking to a few new people. No one worth mentioning by name yet. Of course, if R decides that he does want to try yet again, then moving to someone new will take a back burner to that.