Thanks for sharing the family acceptance angle; it really helped me to put it in that context because its a more familiar one to me. And I do think part of it is a worry that Happy will fade with the emergence of RB. I know she worries about things like what her being in the mix might hinder or cause strain. If she were to get even a whiff that smelled like her connection with him or I was making it hard for anyone, she would pull back.
The other part is when Husband met Happy, he was always letting me know things she and I had in common and it is quite a bit. I'm getting none of that with RB, in fact the opposite. This makes me expect the meet up to be awkward and silent; Happy and I just jumped in with our common interests and it was awesome.
That our kids are the same age actually makes me stress that I'll be pressured to put the kids together and without knowing where her and Husband's relationship will go so soon out of the gate. They've already begun to plan rated PG day dates that the boys could go on too that hearing about made my blood turn cold. I'd hate to see the kids get on really well only to have that end because the 'rents and their weird poly stuff got in the way. But me refusing just sounds like I
see her as just a flash in the pan thing for Husband and see no point. And admittedly, that isn't a completely false assumption for her to have.
I think I may have just stumbled onto what I want to talk about during our meet up.
It might still be awkward but at least it won't be silent.