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Old 11-17-2009, 08:11 PM
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rolypoly rolypoly is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 350

Originally Posted by Ceoli View Post
are those principles of monogamy or principles of insecurity or social conditioning that drive those qualifications? Is there a way to separate monogamy from social conditioning?
In my experience, monogamy was socially conditioned. I can remember as far back as my childhood crushing on lots of people and loving being in their energy. I got scolded by a cousin for flirting with his friend and closed myself off a lot. I've been teased by friends throughout the years about my dating style. I crush often, love easily and love the interactions that happen with people. I tend to find beautiful things in most people and can love those things, but this has often been seen as wrong, flighty, asking for trouble, scattered, whatever...

So, I think those qualifications are definitely socially conditioned. For me, they are synonymous with mono. As soon as I become exclusive with someone, the old story plays.

The poly principles I listed can definitely be present in monogamous relationships, (though willingness to negotiate then has limits). For me, they're not. Monogamy is what I think I'm supposed to do. Not what I want. So, when doing something I think I'm supposed to do, I do it the way I think I'm supposed to do it.
My heart is too big to fit into one person.
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