Good to hear from you again Goldenlady. You and I, going for the gold in self-inventory together, sister! I've been doing so much self inventory over the past few weeks that I'm a little out of breath too
NRE is perhaps the most potent drug of all - all opiates simulate the feeling one gets from being in a really satisfying and wonderful relationship - and any drug is not without its side effects!! We can make irrational decisions when we're under the influence that are not good for us. Your headache is a great indication that there is too much happening too fast for you, and it makes sense that you're battling with feelings of depression given how much pressure you're putting on yourself to get all of your shit together for the sake of everyone else!
I think that being the one who is experiencing the most challenges is the toughest place to be. I have been there, still am there. My husband and GF just want to enjoy the moment, have fun, have great sex; it's me who has a ton of baggage, so you have my total empathy and a big hug from my end. Not being part of that NRE can be really stressful. To add to that, we put so much pressure on ourselves to be perfect - to not have emotions that have a "negative" effect on anyone else. But guess what? Our comfort matters. Our process matters.
Perhaps we're more in touch with ourselves, more sensitive, more willing and able to self examine and grow; whatever the reason that we have the issues that we have, we have a right to go through that experience at our own pace, and it matters that our partners respect that process. We're not talking years into a relationship, we're talking weeks/months - these things take time to unpack and sort out. Those of us who struggle have just as much of a right to our experience of the relationship as anyone else.
It's GREAT that you have cancelled that trip. It's GREAT that you're taking some time. When you stop having headaches you'll know you're going at a pace that is comfortable for you.
I'm not joking about the cardio. It has been a GODSEND to me during tougher times - I strap on the headphones, zone out on a TV show on my laptop, and just run and run and run. I feel LOADS better afterwards. Yoga, also amazing.
That's my two cents. Again, hugs.