Originally Posted by km34
Quite honestly, this is NOT the kind of person I would want in my life. You have KIDS who need to have their dad at home. Even if she didn't understand her not getting the same amount of time with you as your wife gets (which to me is an irrational demand in a new relationship in the first place), she should understand that you also have 3 kids to spend time with. She's not just sharing you with your wife, she's sharing you with the rest of your family and if she refuses to meet any of them - I don't know if you even want her to meet your kids, but based on the fact that she refuses to talk to your wife, I assume she wouldn't be open to that anyway - you have to choose: time with one person you love (her) or time with 4 people you love (wife and kids).
Just a different way to think about it, but this is where my mind went when you said your (ex) gf asked for half your nights to be spent away from home.
Actually, she did want to meet my kids (at least my youngest). She also has 2 boys about her age and thought it would be fun for them to meet. I agreed that would be fun, but I wasn't comfortable with that unless she was going to meet my wife. I didn't want to introduce my child into such a situation until it felt more stable, and it obviously wasn't a stable situation.
Also, when I talked with GF about this subject last month, she was looking for 2 sleepovers a week and I told her that I would be good with one per week, but only if it was OK with my wife. And it wasn't. I thought that was pretty clear to her, but she was apparently waiting and hoping I would change wife's mind. To be honest, I don't want to. I want my wife to accept this situation at her comfort level, and this is what is more important to me.