Originally Posted by nouryia
Ultimatums really aren't the way to go. There has to be room for dicussion and compromise in all relationships, not just poly.
I agree that is true, but this situation was difficult in that it was new for ALL parties. The "no sleepover rule" was created as we found what everyone was comfortable with. Wife discovered after the relationship had started that she was not comfortable with sleepovers. This would have been much better if it had been established to begin with, but we didn't know what effect that would have in a "relationship" manner rather than a casual sex thing. Turns out it is a different situation when you have that deep connection, and it affects things in a whole new way.
So..I don't really blame either one of them in this situation. I think it is unfortunate, but GF felt the sleepovers were something that she needed in a relationship and wife felt that it was not something she was comfortable with.