Originally Posted by zappafreak
I just talked with GF for the last several hours about how things are now, and everything was good and understood until the sleepover subject came up. It has been a sore subject this whole time, but when we talked this time she decided that she absolutely wasn't happy with that. She handed me the ultimatum.
I reminded her that I had an equal ultimatum from the wife in regards to her not being ok with the sleepovers, so she told me that I should just go home to my wife then because she was no longer going to be in this relationship if I was not going to be spending the night.
I got stuck in between two ultimatums. Wow. That sucked. Poly is difficult.
Quite honestly, this is NOT the kind of person I would want in my life. You have KIDS who need to have their dad at home. Even if she didn't understand her not getting the same amount of time with you as your wife gets (which to me is an irrational demand in a new relationship in the first place), she should understand that you also have 3 kids to spend time with. She's not just sharing you with your wife, she's sharing you with the rest of your family and if she refuses to meet any of them - I don't know if you even want her to meet your kids, but based on the fact that she refuses to talk to your wife, I assume she wouldn't be open to that anyway - you have to choose: time with one person you love (her) or time with 4 people you love (wife and kids).
Just a different way to think about it, but this is where my mind went when you said your (ex) gf asked for half your nights to be spent away from home.