Thread: So here i am..
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Old 01-30-2012, 06:13 PM
zappafreak's Avatar
zappafreak zappafreak is offline
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Seattle,WA
Posts: 22

Originally Posted by Anneintherain View Post
That is one good reason to go slow. I think if you already have agreements with partners, it is smart to negotiate with new partners carefully, so you can be firm upfront and not have to juggle so hard later, backtracking on a promise or action you've already extended to a new relationship.
This has definitely been a learning experience. This has been the first real relationship that either of us have had outside of our marriage, it was all quite casual up until now. I have found that I am definitely less interested in the casual side of things now - I'm thinking more poly and less swinging. I'm glad for it, too, personal relationships are obviously much more meaningful.

Originally Posted by Anneintherain View Post
edit: I am sorry that it ended. I do hope you figure out what is important for you and your partner so if you go forward with a new partner (or your gf who you've been discussing) you can have an easier time of this. It sounds like you have been trying to do right by the people you care about.
Thanks, it's been hard, but I do feel that I have a MUCH better idea of what I am looking for now. I want someone that can be OK with being around my family, and that can appreciate that I have that family. I know where the comfort level is in my household, and those things can be established from the beginning of any future relationships. We didn't have any "rules" in place to begin with because we had never encountered this situation before, which has made for undue stress while we tried to establish our boundaries.
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