I guess I thought you had already been clear with him, and that he was OK with focusing on you during events. Really him cuddling with you both doesn't make you a groupie, but if you feel weird about it, yes you need to speak up. She may be so poly (in the way that everybody is fine with everything and it wouldn't occur to her that it might make you feel weird) minded that she doesn't have a clue that it's a special moment to you and makes you feel tense or irritated.
Sure ideally she should make sure you're comfortable before glomming all over him when you are present, but if she isn't being considerate, you have to stand up for yourself if you feel awkward. I always recommend addressing this with your partner first, and if they are ambivalent about what they want, and wont draw firm boundaries either way, then I'd make decisions and ask for things that keep my mental health intact and let them decide what is important to them.
Happiness will never come to those who fail to appreciate what they already have.
Last edited by Anneintherain; 01-30-2012 at 07:09 PM.