Well conversely, since your bf seems to be OK with not cuddling with her at events when you are there and his gf's spouse is there, it's more - it is up to him to discuss with his gf that "party" or "group" time is when he will be paying physical attention to you, and not her.
Truthfully, if he wants to cuddle or make out with her at these times, he needs to say so to you and behave accordingly, just like if he wants to be focused on you, he needs to stand firm with her on that subject. If he wants to share attention, it should be discussed with both of you, and ahead of time is best.
Really I think it's up to him to negotiate since he is the "shared" partner.
Not that you shouldn't as zylya suggests, think about why it bothers you, but if you're being ignored or feeling uncomfortable during an event because he is paying attention to her, and he's agreed it's not what he wants, I think it's a matter to negotiate with him. (Unless you feel OK talking it over with her, in which case I would suggest that route)
Happiness will never come to those who fail to appreciate what they already have.
Last edited by Anneintherain; 01-30-2012 at 07:08 PM.