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Old 01-30-2012, 07:16 AM
bassman bassman is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Surrey UK
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Originally Posted by BrigidsDaughter View Post
I grew up in a non-denominational church; my pastor was just a man like everyone else - a scientist who returned to the faith later in life; he taught us to question and think critically about our faith; if we chose to tithe to the church, we could decide whether we wanted out money to be a general tithe, go towards the building fund, or towards missions projects/ including missionaries we were supporting. It was never forced. There was no dress code, everyone was welcome, and it always felt like a safe and welcoming home to me. (Growing up in an abusive household, I spent 3 days a week at church because they were supportive, caring human beings who respected my choice not to report it) Where tithing was concerned, that 10% could be anything from money, to time, to finding a bus in the junk yard and brining it to the attention to some mechanics w/in the congregation who fixed it up.
See, now, this is the kind of thing I thought we were going to get into. When we were married 12 years ago, I had imagined, in my mind, a place with a sort of a community feeling about it, and I could fully get involved in something like that, as a volunteer, but not a believer. Such a place never materialised, and when I look back now, we flitted from church to church. I remember us one time, having a meeting with someone from a church, as a preliminary to attending a serious of evenings , like a 101 (or alpha course). And this guy dropped a few "You should be doing this", and "you should be doing that", and it got my back up immediately, and we never did do the course. When I think back now, that was probably one of the first small red flags that went up for me, and Ive never forgotten that meeting. Perhaps that small red flag told me to watch out for more red flags, and the flags have been getting bigger and bigger ever since?

So much so, that a very good friend kindly bought me a book last week called "how to future proof your children", and its focus is about kids and technology. (NOTHING at all to do with church). So I read the introduction and there, on page 2, I see a reference to god (sic), and thats it - for me the book is meaningless now , I flicked through the book and I cant take any of it seriously.

Originally Posted by BrigidsDaughter View Post

Fast forward 3 years to when Runic Wolf and I moved back to our home town when he left the Army and whoa! Our beloved pastor had retired, the new guy who had taken over was of the mega church mindset, tithe was the focus of 3 months worth of sermons. Only officially recognized members could know where the money was being spent and Runic Wolf was not considered a member all of the sudden, so they wanted him to attend "membership classes". When I went to the membership meeting, there were all the people I grew up with and respected trying to defend our church to this guy who had brought in his experts and who said that we'd dropped the ball.... that it didn't matter how many people came to know Christ because of the way we used to do things, because they weren't recorded and now attending our church, we needed to do things his way. It was very disheartening and we stopped attending almost immediately. Our pastor returned for the 25th Anniversary of the church and we returned for that event, but that was it.
Well, well, I think just maybe you're on the path I was on 6 or 7 years ago. I began to realise that the community work is a front for the pastor creaming a lavish lifestyle out of the congregation.

I'm predicting that you'll be looking at every church now with skepticism, and you will come round more and more to a decision that they all sprout superstitious lies , for their own gain.
Male M, struggling noob.
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