It's gettin' worse
Another weekend together, and I am growing increasingly uncomfortable. I am actually starting to believe that I don't even want to be around them anymore! I can feel myself withdrawing, and while I know that it's ridiculous on one level, I feel, well, trapped. I think I am not just not into the NRE anymore, I think I don't actually want to be around it at all. It's making me edgy and cranky, and like I just want to get away from the whole situation.
Feel like I'm losing ground on my sanity a little bit; it's been a tough few weeks, and while I'm not against doing the hard work, I honestly don't even know if I want to do this work at all. I do like her, but I have a lot of people in my life that I like and I am not spending every weekend of my life with them. I want my life to get back into a bit more of a balance - we've been hanging out with her almost exclusively for some time now, and the last month or so have really been grinding on me. I'd love to have a dinner party with a group of friends, or just have a quiet weekend at home with my husband, maybe just the TWO of us have a fun night away (great suggestions there - we've totally gotten out of the habit in that regard.)
In a lot of ways it's starting to feel like she's my husband's girlfriend who I go to bed with once or twice with in a weekend. She and him talk endlessly, hug and cuddle and give each other moonie eyes while I kind of do my own thing, because being around that drives me nuts! SO BORING if you're not into it! Like watching a romantic comedy, without ANY FREAKIN' COMEDY. When her and I are alone together, it's just kind of awkward.
I don't know - I guess this is the part where they start dating on their own. Not sure how I feel about that, but I'm kind of done being a third wheel with my own freaking husband LOL.
Sigh. I guess this is why most people don't do this - it's tough shizah.