Originally Posted by zappafreak
Actually, no, I should have made that clear. GF has never had a poly relationship and this whole thing was very foreign to her.
Becoming poly is a work in progress and it's not for everyone. I'm still working at it and it's been almost a year and a half. Just keep communicating honestly with your wife as well as your g/f and make sure that the g/f's expectations are in line with yours and your spouse. If you're slightly askew, work towards a compromise, sure. But she does have to understand that you need to preserve your primary relationship also, it cannot be all about her and the NRE that you're both feeling.
I have had issues with my husband becoming jealous and needing reassurances as my relationship with my boyfriend deepened. We had some pretty tense moments and it's been a lot of work. On the whole, its been very much worth it though. I love both men and I don't take either one for granted. Sounds to me like the three of you have some work ahead of you if this is going to work out...I wish you luck.