Originally Posted by PolyMinNY
I think you should tell the g/f that you would love to continue the relationship with her but you are still committed to your wife also.
Let her know hat the relationship with her can continue and flourish but ONLY if she is agreeable to meet with your wife. If it continues as it is, all of you will be torn and resentful which will ultimately end the relationship.
Hopefully the g/f will understand and agree to meet your wife. It sounds like she wants you all to herself and not open to sharing which to you is not an option.
Best to get it out in the open and discuss it now.
I don't necessarily feel that she wants me all to herself. She seems to be quite accepting of my wife and family at this point, just doesn't want to meet her. She is cool with sharing too, actually.
I have decided that I don't want to force them to meet. There is just too much resistance there. I guess my biggest question on this subject now is whether we can be happy with such an arrangement. It's not that I'm unhappy with it. I think it would be preferable if we could all spend time together, and I'm quite certain that I would prefer having such a relationship where it was all in the open. Maybe that is the choice that I need to make for myself.