Originally Posted by nouryia
Q. Is your g/f already poly? A single person with a monogamous background might have different expectations of your relationship than someone who's used to being poly and sharing. Your marriage does come first and you need time to achieve a balance that works for everyone.
I have a husband and kids, so does my boyfriend. We have never had a sleepover...and it's okay. Though I'd like to have one, it's difficult to plan with two households to consider. I think that in time, it's important that your wife meet your g/f. Not saying you should push hard, but your g/f unwillingness to meet could signal some jealousy issues. I also found that I wanted to meet my hubby's love interest because it makes me feel closer to him and he knows mine. We all get along like good friends and occasionally hang out together for movies and games nights. It makes us 'family', it's a good feeling.
Actually, no, I should have made that clear. GF has never had a poly relationship and this whole thing was very foreign to her. It took some getting used to, really about up until now, for her to decide if this was something that she could actually have in her life.
It really isn't a good idea to force them to meet each other and I get that, I just feel that this is a sign of her not ever quite completely accepting my life in whole. She says she does, and we can talk about my wife openly, but she doesn't want to spend any time around her. I just don't know if that is a healthy situation, and have been concerned about the long term AND I very much like the idea of being able to have her over for movies/games etc. I like the sound of what you have, and that sounds like the ideal for me. Doesn't mean that is the ideal for her though, and I will have to respect that.