Sooo the girlfriend was totally fine with things, when it all went her way, and left the wife out in the cold. As long as she (the gf) was on the upper-end ?
Or, did she encourage you to spend time more equally ? Did she ever mention being uncomfortable with taking 'the lions share' of your time ?
I ask this, because currently, your situation as you`ve explained it, reads to me very much like your wife previously gave you free rein, and was very patient while you went through all these things. She was the one doing the sacrificing. You made a common fuck-up and let NRE overwhelm you. It happens.
Now your wife has asked for some current provisions so she can feel secure. You say she asks for them, because she is afraid of distance from the over-nighters. Well, she is right. History has proven that you forgot about her, and were confused. I don`t think it is to much to ask of you, to create some new history before going back to over-nighters. Keep showing your wife, that she matters too. That you are at a place where you are more grounded, and can treat her just as good as the girlfriend. I think it is good that you have had a lot of realizations about things, and want to do right.
I don`t see any harm, in catering to your wife`s wishes, ..for now. There needs to be some room for growth in the future. Those are the kind of things that need to be made clear by all parties. Your wife shouldn`t be the only one brave enough to look for growth in this situation. Your girlfriend needs to give a bit too. While you can`t, and shouldn`t try and force someone to do something they don`t want to do, there is also something to be said, for the kind of character that wants and wants, but doesn`t give much in return.
So,.....you haven`t mentioned much about your girlfriend having any interest beyond herself, and what she wants. Maybe you can shed some light on that ?
Last edited by SourGirl; 01-29-2012 at 05:04 PM.