[redpepper]

I'm thinking that this,

"shatter some of my social anxieties, throw away fear and embrace love for humanity."
part you will need to do on your own a bit more.

It sounds like she is disliking your seeming clinginess and whimpiness. I'm not trying to be mean, but as it seems by what you write, you need to get out and do your own thing more and trust that she will not disappear. You know the saying, "set someone free and they will come back to you..." well this is where I'm going.

I'm not saying that you shouldn't have boundaries however! Geesh, you'd better or it will make your head explode, but you have to be very willing to compromise. Asking to share who she meets for example does not seem like an option. She seems to want something for herself and so she should. What could you be okay with around that? ... just as one example.

Speaking from experience, she seems to be on the roller coaster ride that is the start of some poly relationships. I did it and a lot of women I know do it or have done it.... that is, we get our okay to go out into the world after feeling shut in, uncomfortable, depressed, lonely, misunderstood, and somewhat shackled to house, child, husband, job etc.

I'm not saying that she is feeling that way or has felt that way in entirety, but it is a good possibility. It doesn't mean that she doesn't love you just that she wants some of her own back. Wants to feel her body again, feel others, have excitement, find out what is going on in the world that she missed out on, be desirous and desired. All that fun stuff that looks like she doesn't love you anymore and is a bit crazy.

I have suggested it before, but still say it... go and work on yourself. If you want to stay in her loop then figure out what YOU have been missing and do it. My husband decided to do some self improvement in the way of reading self help books to raise his self esteem. I can't keep up with him now. He has changed so much. I find that very appealing and exciting and sexy! He took it upon himself to not hunker down at home but go out and find his own friends and own partners that are just for him. I love hearing about them and what is going on in his life. Because it is HIS life, I just happen to share in it.

You really do need to go through the emotions you are at first. It is no different than any of us on here first starting out. Have a good long read on these forums and take comfort in the fact that you are not alone.... there a million similar posts on here that are similar. Feel the feelings, talk to your wife about them and then ask her questions about what is going on for her. Try not to lose it when she answers you.... ask her to be completely honest and open. There is no other way to get through this intact otherwise. Then try and figure out where YOU want to go next.

good luck