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Old 01-29-2012, 01:42 AM
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Vixtoria Vixtoria is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 306

Here's the thing, no one is wrong for how they feel. Feelings are allowed! No poly person is going to tell you you are wrong for how you feel. Poly people are not trying to tell you that you HAVE to be poly or you HAVE to have any kind of relationship. The point is, it's up to you what kind of relationship you want.

A lot of people here have a lot more experience with all kinds of relationships. You know what they say, "Good decisions come from experience, experience comes from bad decisions." So yeah, advice is offered in hopes other people don't have to gain the sometimes hard and heart breaking experience!

I've read, almost all the posts in all the threads, yours and PKs. Some opinions I keep to myself because, well honestly there are a lot of things people here believe or do that I personally would not or would not want. I don't care, if it works for them, then awesome, it's just not me. Other things, well they honestly upset me a lot. Here's some of the things I got from all your posts.

1. PK doesn't REALLY like women. At most she said 2% and there's actually been discussion on being afraid of vaginas. As a pansexual/bi woman, that offends me to no end! She's said she will try being with a woman because that is what you would be comfortable with. That's utter BS. Not because of what you want, but because SHE would do that. If it was me PK was trying to date and I found out HALF of that I'd be pissed, and feel used. She should NOT be dating women if she's afraid of vagina and only doing it because then she can date SOMEONE.

2. You don't want to be in a relationship with a woman who is dating other men. Fine. Dandy. Don't be. I'm terribly sorry to break this to you but just because you love someone doesn't mean you HAVE to have a relationship with them. It doesn't even mean you SHOULD! It hurts, yeah, I've loved people that together we were just not good for each other. Love doesn't end, but relationships sometimes have to. You want to make compromises for each other, that is AWESOME! It doesn't mean it will work. Compromising on having a sex buddy and only when you can't have who you want is, degrading. To everyone.
Me: 40 pansexual poly.
DH: My husband of 21 yrs and father of 3 teen girls.
DC: LDR of +9 years/former
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