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Old 01-29-2012, 12:30 AM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,707

Originally Posted by nouryia View Post
Well, My secondary has had one hookup since we started seeing each other. Nothing long lasting, just a weekend of visiting and a little 'fun' with a trusted female friend of his husband who lives a few hours away and is herself married. I must say the old mono jealousy made a come back. I worked through most if it myself, and talked with the b/f about feeling insecure prior to his trip to her area. He was very kind, offered me reassurances that we were solid and that she posed no threat to our relationship. She's a friend, not a long term prospect. He even offered to not sleep with her if it made me feel better. I declined.

In a more recent discussion (because she will be visiting this way in a month or so) he actually offered me veto. His regular mates have veto...though they pretty much never use it. He extended me the same privilege...I was touched. Then I turned it down. I don't want to change him and I trust him. The insecurity, that's my issue to work on, not his and the last thing I want is power over who he can be with... But man, this poly thing, it's not easy, lol.
What do you mean his mates have veto?

Good for you turning him down because you trust and don't want to change him. Veto's suck in my opinion. They do more harm than good in the long run as far as I can see. Its the illusion of power, really its an ultimatum of "my way or the highway." Not so loving and considerate if you were to ask me.... (interesting stuff to read on "veto" if anyone wants to look at the threads in a tag search).
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