Originally Posted by thetasignmom
I know this was not to me or for me, but it resonates very deeply with me. It is a struggle for me to define what it is that I want without needing to label the wanting itself as "selfish". I love the idea that how I go about creating what I want can be selfish or not while the wanting of it can remain unjudged by me. I currently have three lovers that share me while I do not share any of them.....
greedy? selfish? maybe..
But I also recognise that I am moving forward more and more into the idea that as I experience more love from my partners, I have more love to give to my partners. Might that also be true for them...if they experience moe love, might they have more to share with me???
This poly walk is hard and scary but far more rewarding than I ever imagined. And I feel so incredibbly blessed to be sharing the journey with such patient and loving souls.
Thanks for the food for thought!
IF they are seeing you exclusively (while knowing about each other) and are CHOOSING to not seek other relationships, then you are not being greedy or selfish...
If they WANT to pursue other relationships but are not because you have forbidden it, either expressly or by actions/reactions, then yes, you are being very selfish and manipulative even, and not really acting according to the spirit of polyamory.
Just my two cents...