Originally Posted by redpepper
Maybe sit and think about what you need and what you would be willing to forgo in order to get somewhere close to seeing your needs met. Then go and tell him your struggles and give him some ideas on how you could feel more worthy and needed in your relationship by him. Ask him what he needs too.
The replies I've received here are helping me figure things out. I do think I need to let go more as you mention, it's not easy, but I'm trying. As for him, I think he's getting what he needs from the relationship, he seems happy. Although he has expressed liking the fantasy of all of us sharing a big house, I don't think us never living together bothers him. He is a seasoned poly...I'm still learning :P