Thread: Possibly Poly?
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Old 01-28-2012, 08:34 AM
SchrodingersCat's Avatar
SchrodingersCat SchrodingersCat is offline
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Location: Saskatchewan
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Originally Posted by LoveHopeHappiness View Post
My wife (we'll call her Heather) and I are exploring the possibility of allowing a special person into our marriage if that right person ever comes around
I understand how you meant this to sound, but I have to share with you the way I read it and how I felt about it. I cringed at the wording "allowing a special person into our marriage"

Just think about how that could come across to a potential partner... like it's a private club that you're willing to grant special permission to certain people to enter, but only if they meet your ultra-exclusive criteria.

Now, you sound like nice and decent people who actually would care about the feelings, individuality, and rights of any potential partner. I merely caution against thinking of your marriage as something that other people might want to "join." In other words, it can leave a "Sister Wives" taste in the mouth, which doesn't sound like what you intend...

You might have more success finding loving partners if you go at it separately. Your wife can find a boyfriend, you can find a girlfriend, and neither of those people has to be involved with the other spouse beyond cordial respect.
As I am sure any cat owner will be able to tell you,
someone else putting you in a box is entirely different
from getting into a box yourself.
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