If I had to do it all over again, I still can't tell you how I would have done it. I've tried the face to face (before I knew what 'polyamory' was), and I had no clue how to describe something I thought was just me being the oddball once again (I fall far from "the norm" on some things). Having just discovered the word, this site, and tons of other research, I still didn't know how to come out and say what I was thinking. My head was swirling, I was confused, I was scared, and believe it or not, I thought maybe Everyone was polyamorus and just didn't realize it.... so I said, "Go get into a relationship.. you'll see what I'm feeling." I had no idea we were built so differently.. no clue.
This was our second huge discussion.. and in a 7 day period, nonetheless. But it opened me up to communicating with the man I love. Real, honest communication. Yes, I still like the comfort of hiding behind a screen but I also understand his need for real communication.. and I'm doing my best to give him that.
He's new to this polyamory thing.. I'm new to this communication thing. It'll take time for us both to get it right.
Oh, and km34.. I didn't find out there was a word that described my feelings until after his visit. Had I been able to articulate my thoughts while he was here, then I would have -- well.. when he was here, we had one huge issue we were dealing with already, so I can't say that I would have thrown another one at him. So, I can't say for sure.