Originally Posted by newguy
oh wait, there is a new one I’m now meaningless and inconsequential…I got to add those to my list....
Please don't put words in my mouth. I didn't say you were meaningless and inconsequential. I said the idea of an Alpha male
is meaningless and inconsequential, in terms of what you wrote about it. Since you seem to misunderstand and misinterpret alot of what people say here, I'm not sure I can re-word it so you'll know what I mean, but... basically you had blamed the fact that you will not "allow" PK to be with other men on you supposedly being an Alpha male, which pays lip service to some idea about being male instead of owning up to what's really behind it, like an insecurity, fear, or belief system in you. What I'm trying to say is that concept of being Alpha (which is just a concept) is no excuse for behavior that is unfair to a partner. It is known in poly lingo as a "One Penis Policy" or OPP. Do a search on that, and you will find lots of threads debating its validity.
What is really happening is not that you have allowed her to do something or not; in reality, she made a choice not to partake in activities she knows you will be unhappy with. But it is her choice
-- you're not the boss of her life. She could be with men or anyone she wants, it isn't up to you what she does. The only choice you have is to stay or go. You each make your lives what you want. So, don't think that she is "obeying you as the Alpha Male" who will or will not "allow" her to do this or that. She is choosing your happiness over her own, but she doesn't have to do that.