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Old 01-27-2012, 04:13 AM
newguy newguy is offline
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: U. S. A.
Posts: 49

Originally Posted by SNeacail View Post
First off - your not shit because of how you feel, but neither is she for how she feels.

Second - I never said give her what she wants, but that doesn't mean the discussion has to be off the table.


I need to apologize for the harsh tone I used in my first response...I should not have let my emotions get away and lashed out at you. I can't or won't apologize for what I said for those are my thoughts and the way that I feel and I can't apologize for being me. But when you (and other poly women) label a guy (like me) that won't 'conform' to your way of thinking as unconsidered, traditional, old fashion, insecure, selfish, pigheaded, Neanderthal, controlling, insensitive, and unfair … or that guys like me consider women as property and that we have ownership over them. You see I have been called all of these on this site because I won’t change my feelings on the matter. PK was even told that she should run and get away from me as fast as she could.

Granted, the ownership one was said before they knew I was PKs fiance’ but all of the rest were directed to me in posts and emails. So when I saw “Yeah, so I get to eat steak and any other meat I want, but you have to be vegetarian, because I'm the Alpha and declare it to be so. In all fairness, you should be looking for a boyfriend and stay away from other girls.”, again (in my opinion) another form of attack, I lost it and for that, I apologize.

Please accept my sincere apology.

Originally Posted by DredlockScarlet View Post
From reading what you have been posting about PK and yourself....your relationship and your thoughts....You say in one post you are NOT ok with being in a polyamorous relationship and that she must choose between you or him...
Sorry for the confusion...I'm not ok with her being in a sexual relationship with a man and if she ever wanted to pursue then it be either me or him (there is no current him) she would have to make that choice at that time...from what I have read, if a woman have a long term loving, intimate relationship with a woman and me, then they are all in a polyamorous I wrong? This type of relationship I can handle.

Originally Posted by DredlockScarlet View Post
From what i have read in your posts....I think you need more time to think about what you want and i think that you need to talk more to PK about how you feel....Communication is everything! talking about what you're ok with and what you feel is not ok...Your limits and your feelings are important! she should respect what you want and how you are feeling!
Thank you...I believe that is where we are at now.

Originally Posted by SourGirl View Post
A tiny suggestion : If you want people to accept your blunt words, then accept other's blunt words. If they are posting, its because they are trying to help.
Set aside your alpha-big-dog theories, and just be a human being, looking to receive various outlooks. You'll learn more that way.
I agree with what you...I have learned a lot from this forum about Poly, PK, and myself...

Originally Posted by NovemberRain View Post
You might want to evaluate your receptiveness to opinions. If you want to continue receiving opinions, and you did ask for them, you might want to note that you will receive many you don't like or agree with. Doesn't mean they weren't offered in the spirit in which you requested them. If everyone agreed with you off the top, you might as well not ask, right?
I hear you but I don't think it was a receptiveness issue...and although I said I would read all comments on my thoughts, I didn't ask for their opinion nor would I accept being (in my opinion) attacked...I have already apologize for my rudeness to SNeacail.

Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
If someone tells you they think it's unfair for you to require PK to be with women when she really doesn't have an interest in women and would rather be with men, that is called offering you an opinion, or another viewpoint you may not have considered. .
I have never nor would I ever required PK to be with women…she is pursuing her interest on her own…

Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
If this is any indication of how you "listen"... no wonder there are communication issues in your relationship and she brought the idea of poly up in a text message. She probably didn't want to deal with the fallout of your reaction. .

Communication WAS an issue with us because I have been openly communicating with her since the beginning (3 years ago)…she just started communicating with me this month…

Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
AND I can tell you that being called unfair will probably be the general consensus here - forcing someone you love to be with people she doesn't want to be with because of your insecurities... ugh. The idea of the "Alpha male" is meaningless and inconsequential here. That is no way to treat someone you care about.
I'm sorry but this is exactly what I'm talking about...she also beleives that most poly females here think I'm not being fair...take a closer look, I got called unfair and accused of be insecure…oh wait, there is a new one I’m now meaningless and inconsequential…I got to add those to my list....


I really don’t mean to be…well me!!! But this is my blog about my thoughts…I had no idea that I would get this type of reaction…I mean really, I have an issue with the way anyone lives their sexual lives…nor would I ever pass judgment on them because they didn’t see things my way! I expect this type of activity from non-poly community but this community is full of all types…bi-male/female, gays, lesbians, and (most important) poly…the last thing I expected was to be told that I’m unfair and meaningless for having my feelings…

Last thing, for the record (again)…I never tried or will try to stop PK from having a loving intimate relationship with another man…I just can’t be a part of that situation! I never tried or even asked PK to be with women...that choice was all hers!

I can only hope I didn’t offend anyone but…these are my thoughts
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