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Old 01-27-2012, 02:26 AM
amuk amuk is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 11
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Lunshbox,

Good to hear things are going well for the two of you.

Redpepper,

Thanks for your response. Yes, I do identify as "mono". I tried to be a good "poly" guy but I have a real hard time focusing on more than one romantic or sexual relationship at a time. As far as doing research, reading, seeking knowledge, and such that's where we come up with what I feel to be another inequality between my wife and myself. I have spent time reading books, blogs, and through forums (especially this one) for how to best build a poly relationship, be a mono with a poly, and how to work towards all the issues that arise after cheating. My wife, on the other hand, says she doesn't have time and that the experience of others doesn't have much to do with what we are trying to deal with. Anytime I try to mention an idea I read about or make a suggestion to try something that I have read she insists that just because what I am mentioning or suggesting worked for someone else that it isn't going to work for us. I agree that there is no way to know what will work for us, however the only way we will know is if we try.

To move onto the thing about our now infrequent sex life...she insists I find someone else to satisfy my needs. I really have barely any idea how to do this. I'm very busy with school and family life...managing house, bills, being the only driver, our 6 year-old daughter (my step-daughter) and am hard-pressed to find the time and energy to find someone else, build up that relationship, and keep balance between another relationship and our marriage. If I could find a woman who I was attracted to and who was attracted to me who was as sexually insatiable as me who has no more time, energy, or desire than for a friend with benefits relationship...well that would be perfect, but seems unattainable and unreasonable to ever expect.
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