Originally Posted by Scott
This is one of those hot button topics, to be sure. Hiring a sex worker doesn't mean that you have to be cheating on anyone, although I have heard from someone who has been in the business that a lot of people do hire them for that purpose. I certainly don't think that cheating is a good thing, but it's certainly a form of non monogamy. I have spoken to people who are now polyamorous, but their first step was actually cheating. Sometimes, it's just too difficult to go from monogamy straight to ethical non monogamy, so a transition is required. I myself never needed such a transition, but I'm only 36 and I knew about polyamory since I was in my early 20s; since I hadn't even yet had a girlfriend at the time, when I finally found a girl who I wanted to be my girlfriend, I told her my mindset pretty much from the get go.
I agree that hiring someone for sexual purposes doesn't have to be cheating, but in almost every situation it easily COULD be (hence me putting OR in there). I also agree that to some, cheating is simply a step between monogamy and ethical non-monogamy. I'm glad it never came to that from me, but had I not fallen in love with someone as open-minded as Keith at a very early age (we started dating when I was 15), I probably would have cheated.
I've always been an avid believer that the general style of dating in America is just acceptable prostitution. In general the man is bringing the girl chocolates/flowers, buying dinner, paying for the tickets to the movie, driving, and basically taking all other fiscal responsibility for the time together and then the girl deep down believes she owes him something because he did all this (and most girls at some point or another do feel this way), so she kisses him goodnight. Or has sex with him. Or anything in between. It happens all the time. I'm still not seeing how actual, acknowledged commercial sex should be included in the charts, though.