Originally Posted by Phy
I get what you mean, I thought the same when i first saw it. Someone like me or Sward an Lin is completely missing on it. The mono/poly is doomed problem as it seems. But well, it covers a certain range and I found it amusing as well. But far from being completed, many aspects of poly relationships are missing or portrait in a not so favorable light.
I definitely see the attempt at humour, but maybe I am a little jaded on the amount of people who promote his version like the bible.
So I admittedly roll my eyes a bit.
It all starts feeling cult-like sometimes, watching people with their one-true-franklin-way.
Which really isn`t his fault. He`s just another bloke, with an opinion. He went to the extensive trouble, of creating an in-depth site and opinion,....which I think, is what people find satisfaction in.
Like most things, not all people and all situations can be accounted for. My response is based on the fact that my experiences has led me to realize, most people feel 'pushed' to chose either being poly, or being a swinger. The reality usually is, that most people either land 'in the middle' or find things to be situation specific to the people involved.
I`ve read all the arguments for years, over how we are either like some horny monkey, or some loin-cloth breeder-tribe.
I agree with neither. Environment tends to dictate our reactions. If you cage/corral any animal, ( forced monogamy being our default cage ) and one day show them the door/gate is open,..most are going to run through it, and a few might hold back in fear.
Eventually, those that held back, sniff around and make decisions, and those who ran through the gate, ...well many of them realize the pasture wasn`t any greener, it just offered different scenery. Some realize they are monogamous. Some realize they want to hang out around the gate,
Others feel full-blown poly pride. It`s actualy quite divided.
So, seeing that happen with people on a regular basis, I ask myself, how is the chart not flawed ? If he has 'open' labelled for people who fuck, but dont have feelings,.. Then where is the umbrella portion, of non-monogamy ? Shouldn`t the whole thing be enveloped in a large circle that says non-monogamy, at the least ? Then you could at least fit your situation in there:
" All you complicated folks go here-----> X"
I`d say it doesn`t because much like his other supposed tongue-n-cheek stuff,...the humour is boiled in his own truths.
Not a bad thing,..people just need to remind themselves of that.
This was not a rant at you Phy, just me babbling about something I have long wondered.