Thanks so very much for sharing your story with us. You have encouraged us in our foray into the poly world!
Pressure from within and without, sadly we would suggest ignoring what those in your surrounding community think but that's impossible with young minds to protect. The issues which seem to be the most divisive sounds simply like stubbornness, many people equate success in life with their careers. While obtaining much success and satisfaction at work their home life suffers, this is sadly prevalent in mono relationships too and the cause of much unnecessary divorce! Finding a "poly friendly" counselor would be a good start, no "move" will be possible while anyone has their heels dug in so helping everyone to understand what the cost of their success really is!
We wish we could offer more, something as beautiful as what you have shouldn't be allowed to flounder helplessly into failure!!! If venting helps maybe having the rest of your family read this will also help...it seems that we don't always listen with our ears!!!