Originally Posted by Preia
Monogamy programs us to think that the relationship should move through stages and if it gets stuck that we should end it. We start out with meeting people and dating casually, then dating seriously, then comes marriage/moving in together, and kids. The great thing about poly is realizing that you don't have to do it that way for every relationship. You also don't have to give it up if it gets "stuck". If you enjoy the relationship for what it is, relax and enjoy it. Not all relationships need to be marriage minded. That is a hard mindset to break though. It took me most of a 15 year relationship to get it right in my head that moving in and marriage is not happening, and he and I still fantasize about it together on occasion in terms of wouldn't it be great if..... Yeah it would be so great... Oh wait... No it wouldn't. For a lot of reasons.
Yeah... it's fun to fantasize! My most serious OSO has an underground solar heated house Ive yet to see... Maybe next week! He and his wife dont sleep together because of different mattress preferences. He's building a studio outdoors and it's gonna have a bunk. We could sleep together, he could sculpt, I could draw and paint, we could take long walks on his land, and my gf could cook us great meals.
We are all bi or pansexual too, so of course I've been imagining some kinky sex orgies as well!
Well, I might not be able to get that on a permanent basis, but I am sure looking forward to it once a month or so!
(edit: not the sex orgies, the other stuff lol)
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley
There's no lying in polyamory!
I'm a 58 year old woman with 2 partners:
miss pixi, my live-in gf, 36 (together since Jan '09)
Ginger, bf, 61, married, lives nearby (together since Jan '12)
Last edited by Magdlyn; 01-25-2012 at 01:48 PM.