I can't help but feel like people who need to be with their partners all the time have dependency issues.
I personally find it very draining to be involved with people who can't stand being away from me.
So it makes me think... it's not that you're bad at being a secondary, it's that you're bad at being single. It just happens that you're not single, but the symptoms look the same to me.
I think it's important for people to meet their own needs themselves. Expecting other people to meet your needs puts a heavy burden on them. It's a lot to live up to.
For those who feel the need to share every aspect of their lives with their partner, I'm curious: do you have a history of rushing into serious relationships? Does that ever leave a trail of destruction when the relationships don't work out? Or is it more that you're comparing your marriage, which you've spent years building, to a new relationship that's still growing? Perhaps all you need is to give the new relationship time to flourish.
Hmm... that is an interesting observation you make about many poly people liking their alone time. I know I certainly do. I haven't ever polled people to see how common that is. I'm currently interested in a woman who is very gregarious and hates being alone. I'm interested in hearing how it is for other poly folk.
Gralson: my husband (works out of town).
Auto: my girlfriend (lives with her husband Zoffee).
The most dangerous phrase in the English language is "we've always done it this way."
Last edited by SchrodingersCat; 01-25-2012 at 07:11 AM.