My relationship with my husband is my foundational relationship.
That's crazy well-put, and thank you for posting your story; I found it very helpful!
I've been doing a lot (lot lot) more reading on this, as well as reaching out to some friends both online and off who have more experience with polyamory than I do, and it's been an instructive few weeks to say the least.
If I can say that I've learned anything *definitely*, it's that it takes work and a fanatical devotion to honesty and clarity to make sure that each person's needs in a relationship are being met -- whether those needs are attention and a feeling of security, or space and a feeling of freedom -- and the only proper way to go about it is to recognize and treat everyone involved as an individual, with feelings, agency, and the right to have a voice in things that affect them.
Thank you all again, very much. I'm definitely sticking around here to read, like, everything.