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Old 01-23-2012, 06:11 AM
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ray ray is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 819

Something that I have been coming to terms with is the "presentation of identity" I guess. We want humans to be consistent and if we have a bad experience with them, then they are a bad person. Unfortunately, it is often far more complicated and a person can react poorly in one situation but that doesn't necessarily mean that they're just awful through and through. Granted, this doesn't mean we owe them anything or need to have more experiences with them. I've been trying very hard to keep this in mind in my dating life and in general, so that I have an easier time of giving grace to people who hurt me. I'm finding it to be helpful but very difficult.

I know it's easy for me to say oh man, so and so's a bad guy because of this hurtful experience you've had but I get that it's only part of the story and who knows what all went into what happened. And I understand why you don't want to take part of the experience and use it to define the whole thing and all the people involved. But still, it does sound like you are wise to abstain from a friendship for the time being. I think you can do that (protect yourself and heal) and still keep a broader, more balanced definition of the people that takes into consideration both their strengths and their weaknesses.

I admire (as I've read your blog) your ability to see the good in people and situations where other people might have long been frustrated and given up.

Last edited by ray; 01-23-2012 at 06:14 AM.
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