i feel you
I just wanted to say, I feel you on the whole family freaking out thing. It's also my deepest concern. My boyfriends mom threw a s***fit when he told her the truth. She tried to sue for custody of his daughter... and lost. You see, the nice thing about the law is that it isnt tied to people's feelings (ideally, and from my little experience, practically). Righteous indignation, anger, fear, heartfelt conviction... all these emotions, with their deep social power (and oh, how they sway people socially!) dont amount to two legal cents. We've come to a workable conclusion with his mother, and his little girl is as happy and protected as ever, having access to the people who love her-- me, her daddy, and her grandparents.
In conclusion... the kids are all right. It's the other adults who freak out about stuff like this. Luckily, living in a society where the law is usually upheld means that just because people may throw accusations or try to sue for custody they dont get their way unless there's actually some form of illegal activity happening.
Second conclusion... the social pressure still really sucks and I'm sorry to hear youre going through that.