He is careful with me because he knew he was my first. Therefore, he knew he couldn't get anything from me...
I understand the concern, I do. And I am considering making him wear a condom, or at least show me a test when he gets it done. I will get tested. (I'm just slightly afraid of getting it done.) We have health services here at my school, so I can get it done easily.
I understand it doesn't sound good, but I do trust him when he says these things. He hasn't lied to me. He has changed his words, but people and things change. I understand that.
:/ I know he sounds like he's a bad guy. And, part of me sometimes thinks so because of what others say about him. But he really does care about me, and he's there for me if I need him...
It isn't fair what he does to me, I know. But I'm going to try and talk to him about it, maybe work something out. Search his feelings some more, and get a clearer picture of what he thinks of me, you know?
He's never lied to me before.
And... If he wants me, for what ever purpose, at least I'm wanted. At least he loves me. It hurts sometimes, yes. But I do love him, and most of the time I'm very happy with him.
I think this is just a rough spot... Or maybe everything was easy until this point. I think it's too early to tell, and I need to communicate with him more.
It's hard to reach him for serious discussion, though. It usually has to be in person, and we don't see each other for weeks...