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Old 01-22-2012, 09:26 AM
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rory rory is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Europe
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^Well, at least you are protecting your physical health. That's good.

That's not enough, though. You need to protect your emotional health, too.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mookitten View Post
He says I have to accept him the way he is, or else we can't be together....

:/ His actions aren't up for debate, basically. If I say anything about it, he says I'm not letting him be his own person, and I'm trying to change him. That I'm not letting him be polyamorous.

I can't say anything about the people he picks to be his lovers, and I can't ask him not to sleep around. It seems like he's already made plans. Because he said he knew how the weekend was going to go.
He is manipulating you. Being polyamorous means that you can love more than one person at a time. That is the only thing you have no control over as a polyamorous person, your feelings.

He is trying to make it sound like because he is polyamorous he can't control what he does. That is bullshit, such dishonesty. He can control his actions, but he doesn't want to.

The fact that he doesn't want to doesn't make him a bad person. He is allowed to want to live polyamorously, i.e. to have multiple relationships. He is also allowed to want to have sex with anybody and at any time he feels like it. There's nothing wrong with that, but it's not inherent in polyamory.

What does make him an asshole is that he won't be honest and say "this is what I want; if this is not what you want, we shouldn't be in a relationship".

He doesn't care about hurting you. He gets everything he wants in this situation; he can fuck around and you'll still be there to service him. Because he doesn't care about the fact that you hurt, he won't end it with you (except maybe if he gets tired of you). You need to do that yourself. Please, don't let him string you along any longer.
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