View Single Post
Old 01-21-2012, 03:55 PM
nycindie's Avatar
nycindie nycindie is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 10,083

I think your fiance is right in saying you are a bit obsessed with this right now.

Originally Posted by Naomi View Post
...I'm still confused as to what to do.

Consider this: you may just be immersed in the heady euphoria of oxytocin and dopamine, and it isn't love at all. Just a chemical cocktail resulting from connecting with someone on a level that goes a bit further than the physical. For more info on that, see: Your Brain on Sex.

That's one reason why I think it is better to be cautious and wait to say anything. I have the sense you still need to sort your feelings out. Most guys have certain beliefs and reactions to the word love. If you bring it up before the time is right, it could make everyone awkward and uncomfortable around each other, which is not what he needs after coming from a break-up and moving to a new living situation. And I do see value in not taking action on these feelings, as there is a lot to be said for not letting our emotions control our behaviors and disciplining ourselves to feel them without vomiting them all over the people we know. It's about self-management, and always a good lesson.

That's just how I see it. I hope it is helpful.
The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia

Click here for a Solo Poly view on hierarchical relationships
Click here to find out why the Polyamorous Misanthrope is feeling disgusted.
Reply With Quote