Thanks for the response peabean. I haven't ever been part of a triad but I've definitely felt a sense of "tolerance" towards my intimate partner when she experiments with people I don't know. I'm not sure what it is... if I don't know the third person then my energy kind of shifts from an open appreciation of the known to a closed toleration of the unknown; I'm not quite resentful, just a bit uneasy. I would almost rather not know if she's seeing someone else just to dodge my own feelings. Not knowing the unknown, you know?
This is probably a kind of growing pain but I feel like it's not an uncommon one.
I'm wondering how this might change in a triad since everyone is in the loop - everything is known, and there aren't any known unknowns, if you will.
I should tell you that my understanding of a triad is three people who love each other in a "closed loop" - polyfidelity.
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Much of it is that my girlfriend often feels we would 'be better off without her' and she worries that we don't need her.
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Is your situation closed loop, or are you all open to each other seeing other partners?