I'm appreciating this thread, too. I am brand new to this poly stuff, and have an LDR. I went with First bf for a few years, and then went with Current bf, while we all remained friends. First bf moved about three hours away (2 on a clear day with a tailwind and good traffic). He was here to visit when we realized we wanted to 'do' this; and I've visited him once since then. He's very introverted, and the contact just isn't as much as I want. But it wasn't as much as I wanted when I was with him, either.
I'm really appreciating what it is, and what we do have. I'm wondering about all that's in store for all of us.
I think what you said about the amping up is true and helpful, Vixtoria. The longing.
It's a little bit about the sex for me, because in spite of the fact that Current bf only lives next door; both of them have exceedingly low sex drives. I'm not even sure that mine is all that high; I think I perceive it as high in response to wanting more than they do. What I know is that if I had a live-in partner who wanted sex more than once a week (and maybe more than that), it would be really challenging and maybe not possible for me. TGIG, I prefer plug-ins.
I want to be sure that First bf isn't simply FWB or a fuck-buddy. I want to work at making sure we have more than that.