Interesting and provocative. If we were to use labels, Wendigo and my relationship would be considered secondary (because we live with, pay bills with, and have kids with our spouses) and my relationship with Pretty Lady would be considered tertiary (because she does not have the time to invest in a secondary relationship). Of all of those things, our only expectation is that we have to keep our relationship secret from our family and 99% of our friends.
It's funny because about a month after we became involved we were at a fighter practice/pool party with our friends and Wendigo had to leave early to go to work. He pulled me aside and asked if we were so far on the DL that he couldn't even get a hug good bye. The following year at the same event, he let me climb on his back and pretend to try to drown him.... at first we were so full of NRE and desire, that we'd lock down our feelings; then we realized that was probably even more suspicious.