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Old 01-19-2012, 06:21 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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Fanatic is a good word. There is so-o-o-oooo much more to Tantra than sex, but so many people focus on only the sex part of it. Got this quote from Wikipedia:
"...most Western scholars have been severely critical of these new forms of pop Tantra. This "California Tantra" as Georg Feuerstein calls it, is "based on a profound misunderstanding of the Tantric path. Their main error is to confuse Tantric bliss ... with ordinary orgasmic pleasure."
A while back I contacted a guy on another site who was all high and mighty about Tantra, and he actually told me that if I wasn't willing to attend Tantric workshops where I would get naked in front of strangers and the leader would choose someone for me who would then finger me and massage my g-spot for three 30-minute sessions, then I wasn't sex-positive or enlightened enough to date him.

Seriously.

I think these people who are always on their soapboxes about Tantra are very misguided, as they think what they practice makes them more evolved and spiritual than others. Back in the 80s, I used to go to lots of New Age-y type workshops and classes, and I'd see the same sort of glazed looks in the eyes of people who were "addicted" to any number of practices, from meditation to high colonics, thinking it would send them to Nirvana or bring them inner peace. Back then everyone was into Kundalini meditation, which also had a sexual connotation. So people would get into it under the guise of being spiritual, but there was very often this kind of predatory sexual vibe coming from them because they were really just focused on having orgasms.

This guy is probably very nice and a good person, but he's hooked like an addict, it seems. He's going to be a very difficult person to be involved with, because this is his focus and people like that are sort of like members of a cult. It will flavor every part of his life, and he's going to be blind to seeing how offensive he will be by harping on the issue. Eventually he will tell you that he is focused on the spiritual and you are dragging his spirituality down into the earthly plane (or some shit like that) by interpreting his practice as only sexual desire. I wouldn't get involved with him if I were you.
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An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
solopoly.net/2014/10/31/why-im-not-a-secondary-partner-the-short-version/
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