Originally Posted by opalescent
I find frustrating that 'Christian' and 'Christian marriage' have been appropriated by the radical, fundamentalist, evangelical right. (OP, I am not saying you are doing this!) It's to the point that liberal or moderate Christians are effectively erased from a public presence in the US. Christian marriage can look and feel and be different depending if the marriage is Catholic, liberal Episcopalian or Southern Baptist. There will be some commonalities of course but marriage in all of these Christian denominations has different approaches to the purpose of marriage, gender roles if any and so on.
As with all religions texts, there are so many interpretations. As an historical text, much of the Bible just isn't relevant today. Wearing two different cloths? That would have been flaunting your wealth in a very un-Christlike way. Lying with a man as with a woman? In my mind, that's more about social standing of the time than actual intercourse. I could be wrong.
Mind you, I tend to take most of the Old Testament with a pinch of salt. It was written in the spirit of its time, with laws that mostly made sense then, but not now.
The way I have always tried to live out my religion is with 1 Corinthians 13. 'Love is gentle, love is kind' etcetc. Christ was all about love
It's why, for my, my polyamory is intertwined with my faith. People (often other Christians) can tell me about the sanctity of marriage, the lies of evolution and how those who don't believe will burn in hell until they're blue in the face, but I won't believe it or agree with them.
In MY mind, God is forgiving, with infinite love for all of creation (or the world, if you so prefer). You don't have to believe in Her, be monogomous, have 6 wives (but only wives...) to have Her love, She gives it whether you want it or not, and whether or not you jump through the correct hoops.
Love God, love your neighbour, however hard that may be. Even if you don't believe in God, the second isn't a bad idea for your life
For the original question...I'm going to go back to the whole 'Bible as historical text' thing. In antiquity, the husband WAS the head of the household and could be expected to be deferred to in all things. Not so much anymore.