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Old 01-19-2012, 02:28 PM
gwendolenthefair's Avatar
gwendolenthefair gwendolenthefair is offline
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 62
Default Spiritual, or just damned pushy?

I am puzzled by the behavior of someone I just started dating (maybe) and was curious as to what a group of random strangers would think about it.

The history is this:

My first contact with M. was an email from him on OKCupid. It was overall a very nice email, except he suggested a possible plan for our SECOND date, and I found that a bit presumptuous, and told him so. M. insisted that he had only been trying to show me that he'd read my profile carefully, and I let it slide.

We chatted a little online and M. told me how to find his Facebook profile. Once there, I found out that we had four mutual Facebook friends, all very nice people. M. and I talked on the phone.A few days later, he invited me during an online chat for coffee and a "light cuddle." I bristled (sexual agenda from anyone, up front, freaks me out), and told him in no uncertain terms that he would do a whole lot better with me if he approached me without any physical agenda at all. Then I agreed to meet him anyway (mostly because one of our mutual Facebook friends had assured me that he was a great guy). I kept our first date very brief, only about a half hour. My overall feeling was, M. is a nice guy, I'm not sure if we have enough in common, I'm not sure if we have a strong enough sexual attraction on my end, but he's very sweet. M. asked if I'd see him again, and I said I would.

Several days later, we found each other online and M. invited me to a tantra workshop that was being given later that day by his primary girlfriend, a tantra educator. I decided to go, and brought my husband too. I talked briefly to M. after the workshop and he indicated that tantra studies, and spiritualism in general, were a very big part of his life. I had already gotten that idea from our previous interaction. I indicated, in turn, that I am not a very spiritual person, not really into New Age philosophies at all, although I had found the workshop both enjoyable and interesting.

Yesterday, I received the following message from M.:

Gwen, how'd you like the Tantra event Sunday?

I am searching for women who want to practice Tantra. Slow passionate physical, romantic and spiritual connection, in which even the breathing bonds us. A life in which every moment, regardless of what you are doing has a taste of the orgasmic.

Does that make sense to you?

Does that interest you? M.

So, my reaction to that was "OMG, he's positively waving his d--k in my face, AGAIN. Danger, Will Robinson!"

However, I talked to M. on the phone and indicated my distress about his message, and he insisted he had not intended any sexual agenda at all, that he wouldn't even consider being sexual together yet because we didn't know each other well enough, he merely wanted to feel me out about my goals for our relationship, and whether I would be ultimately be open to a sexual relationship that wasn't "Plain Jane."

I want to believe him, he seems like such a sweet person, he has nice friends, his girlfriend seems great, but...

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