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Old 01-19-2012, 04:11 AM
sealace sealace is offline
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 14
Default thanks for the generous replies!

Your insights have been very much appreciated.
Response to those:
Redpepper-I'm sorry to hear that; I can relate and it sounds very painful. Total rollercoaster for me, too, with this guy. And I realize so much of it has to do with my neediness and insecurity, but that doesn't change how painful and difficult it can be. For me this relationship has been a great excercize in realizing I need to love myself.

riftara-short and sweet and to the point, thanks!

Derby-#1 has no kids, but does do a lot of family/friends things with his wife. #2, you are probably right. #3 I've come to really like/love (not IN love tho) this guy as a person, so I am even happy just being friends with him. had I been in love with him it would have been super tough when his g.f. vetoed me.

bookbug-thanks for the insight about personality type. I think you may be right. I'm just not like that b/c I think about him a lot when we're not together, so I would want him to do the same. but I am learning to reign in my expectations...for my own happiness! I guess when this bothers me is I don't know who else he is seeing besides me and his wife, and my imagination gets carried away--I think maybe there's someone he spends far more time and energy on and it makes me want out-who wants to play 3rd fiddle!?! I'm not even crazy about 2nd fiddle, with him.

BlackUnicorn-I hung out with the boy (#3) in person a fair amount, but never met his g.f. She suspected we were forming an emotional bond and felt threatened, I suspect, though she said it was due to the fact that I didn't communicate fully with my s.o. about what I was doing. Long story.

Sonic and Anne--great, insightful and helpful replies. Thank you!!!

you guys are great.
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