Just a quick update to let you all know that we had an awesome two full days of "vanilla" fun with T&S. No stress. No drama. No pressure. Then the second night all 4 were on board and the sex came back into the mix. And that too was awesome. I think R and I did a good job communicating with each other through it all and all has been calm and drama-free since. I guess we're on the good part of the roller coaster ride for now. What a relief.
We never did share the fact with T&S that we've been having some relationship issues. We were all having so much fun together that the time just never seemed right. Plus, I think R&I are both still hoping we can work through this on our own and not pull them into our drama and problems.
All the above said, we DID still set an appointment with one of the counselors that we found on the list referred to earlier in this thread. I think the way we were ripping each other apart this past week scared us both. R knows there is a problem and he wants the help in learning better ways to cope with stressors than his angry blowups...and we both want to improve our communication skills. And I also think it will be helpful to have a neutral third party to help us talk about and clarify exactly where we are, what we're doing, and where we want to go with this.
Thanks again for all the advice!