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Old 01-18-2012, 10:45 AM
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BlackUnicorn BlackUnicorn is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2011
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Originally Posted by ForestFloor View Post
Okay, I feel the need to give my spouse a SLIGHT defense.
Yup, sorry, this cowherder stuff just triggers me. Shouldn't have posted when I knew something was annoying the heck out of me.

Originally Posted by ForestFloor View Post
Honestly, I'm far more hurt and angry with her than I ever was or am with him. I have found her far more directly manipulative and I have a LOT of resentment over interactions which were just between her and I...
If she is stressing you out, the last resort I can think of is to erase her from your life completely. Cut off all contacts online and IRL, and request your spouse not talk about her or communicate with her while the two of you are together. I know people who have saved numbers on their phone and the contact info says "Don't answer". If you feel she is bringing nothing positive to your life, then ultimately you should leave it to him to deal with her alone.

Originally Posted by ForestFloor View Post
What YOU mention is what my spouse wants. I'll have a clearer picture if that's even remotely possible after coffee today...
Tuning in for the post-coffee post .

Originally Posted by ForestFloor View Post
I think she may just hate me more for being clear in my "no way, Jose" line on her getting back together more officially with my spouse.
But your hubs has said "maybe", hasn't he? To get into my trigger mode for a while: cheating with her on you is all the cowgirl encouragement she ever needed. Not dropping her the minute she confessed to wanting him all for herself was another heap of encouragement, and saying they might get together again if she starts getting better is just persisting in feeding her little tidpits from the table. While your hubs may think he's doing her a favour, he sounds very cruel to keep her hanging on like that. Cutting her loose would be the humane thing to do, if that is what he really wants.
Me: bi female in my twenties
Dating: Moonlightrunner
Metamour: Windflower
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