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Old 11-15-2009, 06:38 PM
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Rarechild Rarechild is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: SW Michigan
Posts: 600

Thank you, darling . I really am struggling with how to do this, as I have not had to have this discussion with a potential partner since my partner discussed it with me at the start of our relationship.

I have actually directed one potential to this site in the past, and writing on here means he may find out from this thread.

I have been waiting to discuss it until I am sure that there is a possibility of sexual interaction, not wanting to assume our relationship will get to that point. The rub here is that I want to trust a person's respect for me before I tell them about my disease, but don't want them to feel as if I've been dishonest because I don't want to bring it up in small talk right at the beginning when I don't know where it's going.

I don't feel brave most of the time about this, and always feel like I should speak out more- it's just so hard to expose yourself to the reactions that people have whether they are fair or not.

One positive thing about having herpes is that if you can get through this conversation with someone well, and there is compassion and clarity on the facts to begin with, it is a really profound bonding experience, creating trust, communication and intimacy that few budding romances contain that early on.
"Rocks will open and make a way for the lover."
~Hazrat Inayat Khan

I love Catfish and Charlie.
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