Ah, quick point of clarification maybe? We hadn't even finished a discussion on being Poly when this happened. Started the 'so, what do you think?'
He is VERY much about the way you think of it, polyq4 -- "you can say things like if you do this it will make me feel uncomfortable or whatever you are feeling, but permission dictates a certain level of control." I actually do feel that, if we say that we won't do X, Y, or Z without checking to see that each of us is comfortable and okay first, that that is a level of "permission." A "I won't do this if it hurts you, so I want to make sure it won't hurt you." Maybe it's the connotation and not the denotation, but that's how I see it. Either way, discussion wasn't had.
Thanks, though. I think it's good that I was called out on that.